Sexual pleasure is an important yet often overlooked component of intimate relationships and human experience. It varies between individuals but can be achieved during consensual sexual activity involving sexual partners or by self-sexual activity (such as masturbation).

Consensual sexual pleasure is not just the result of the act of sexual intercourse, but also is an expression of safety, involving communication, forming a connection, physical touch, emotional intimacy and psychological wellbeing. Self-sexual pleasure also results in feelings of satisfaction in one’s own body and mind. It plays a vital role in a person’s understanding of their own body, including what they enjoy sexually, and can contribute to the health and sustainability of one’s romantic relationships. Sexual pleasure therefore should not be thought of as selfish or a shameful experience, as it is an experience that thrives on communication, consent and care.

Scientifically, sexual pleasure involves activation of nerve endings, including those found on areas of the body known for increasing sexual pleasure (erogenous zones). Erogenous zones commonly include the mouth, breast and the genital area. This in turn evokes hormonal responses to contribute to the feelings of arousal, satisfaction and bonding. Oxytocin, also called the love hormone, is released during intimate touch and orgasm. This hormone also enables emotional closeness and trust between partners to develop. Sexual pleasure is also deeply influenced by certain psychological factors such as self-esteem, body image, emotional safety, and cultural attitudes toward sexuality.

Despite the importance of sexual pleasure in relationships, one of the key challenges amongst many communities, especially in Sri Lanka, is the stigma surrounding discussions of sexuality and sexual pleasure. This is largely due to existing cultural taboos, conservative attitudes, religious influence, gender norms and the lack of comprehensive sexuality education. This affects women and marginalized communities more, resulting in them being unable to freely express their sexual needs. This also further leads to misinformation, dissatisfaction and restrictions in accessing sexual health services.

Neglecting sexual pleasure in a relationship can lead to emotional distance, frustration, and a breakdown in intimacy. While sex is not the only measure of a relationship’s health, its absence or inability often signals deeper issues. Sexual dysfunction can include conditions such as erectile dysfunction (the inability to get and/or maintain an erection during sex), premature ejaculation (ejaculation/orgasm occurring sooner than wanted during sex) and vaginismus (pain during attempts at sex due to involuntary contraction of muscles around the vagina). These conditions prevent persons from achieving sexual pleasure and if left untreated, can cause significant relationship distress. Treatment options for sexual dysfunction issues vary and can include psychological, medical and sometimes surgical management.

Promoting sexual health education, breaking stigma, improving access to sexual health services and enabling inclusive conversations are all essential steps toward empowering people to experience pleasure safely and confidently. Encouraging adults to prioritize sexual pleasure—through mutual exploration, emotional connection, and attentiveness—can enhance overall relationship satisfaction, reduce stress, and improve mental well-being.

If you or someone you know needs more information on sexual pleasure or has difficulty in experiencing sexual pleasure, please contact the Centre for Family Health at the Family Planning Association of Sri Lanka on 
0112 555 455 or visit us at 37/27, Bullers Lane, Colombo-07.