Am I physically prepared?

Am I mentally prepared?

Do I feel safe in this relationship?

Will I be protected?

These are just some of the questions that may be looming in one’s mind when deciding whether to start engaging in sexual activity. It is a very personal decision to make, but one that is crucial to ensure safe intimate relationships and so should not be taken lightly. When making the decision, multiple factors should be taken into consideration, including mental readiness, safety, physical health, communication and consent.

Mental readiness and emotional maturity are important factors one must consider for a healthy sexual experience. Mental readiness involves having the emotional maturity to understand both yours and your partner’s feelings and expectations regarding sex, in an honest manner to avoid any regrets later. Having emotional maturity also ensures that both you and your partner can handle any possible outcomes of sexual activity, which may include relationship changes, a possible pregnancy or a possible sexually transmitted infection (STI).

Communication and consent are vital for any relationship, especially so for a sexual relationship. As with assessing mental readiness, it involves speaking openly to understand and respect one’s partner’s feelings, preferences and boundaries with regards to intimacy, before engaging in sexual activity. Communication strengthens a relationship, making participants feel comfortable, respected and safe. Consent is non-negotiable. It must be freely given without coercion, reversible, informed, enthusiastically given and specific. Without clear consent and communication, sexual activity can lead to misunderstandings and harm.

An understanding of both you and your partner’s physical health is another key factor to ensure a safe interaction or relationship. Regular health check-ups which include screening for STIs is essential to ensure safety for both partners. If unsure about a partner’s STI status, the use of a barrier contraceptive method like the condom will prevent transmission of STIs as well as prevent an unintended pregnancy. It is beneficial to empower oneself by being aware and educated on the many contraceptive options available before embarking in sexual activity, to protect oneself.

In many countries, especially in Sri Lanka, sex preparedness is strongly influenced by the country’s culture and its’ society. It is therefore important to evaluate these influences and make choices that are based on your own beliefs and values, without giving into societal and peer pressure.

The legal age of sexual consent for girls in Sri Lanka is 16 years of age (no age of consent is provided for boys). As discussed above however, preparing to have sex can be daunting, especially when young, so it is important to consider one’s emotional and physical wellbeing, as well as the social aspects before having sex. In Sri Lanka, sex is also often a taboo subject that is not openly discussed, but it is important to break down this barrier and have open conversations about sex to gain a better understanding of the topic and to have healthier attitudes and practices regarding sexual activity.

To learn more about contraceptive options, testing for STIs or to speak to a counsellor about sex preparedness, contact the Centre for Family Health or Alokaya Counselling Centre at the Family Planning Association of Sri Lanka (+94112555455, No. 37/27, Bullers Lane, Colombo-07).