Consent is an important part of any relationship, especially one which is a sexual relationship. Consent ensures that all persons involved in an act respect each other’s feelings, and personal boundaries.

The acronym “FRIES” helps remember all aspects of consent.

• F – Freely Given to ensure that when consent is given, it is voluntary, free of influence, manipulation and pressure.

• R – Reversible to ensure that consent can be taken back at any point of time, even during the sexual act.

• I – Informed to ensure that the person consenting understands what to expect throughout the act and has the capacity to make an informed decision.

• E – Enthusiastic to ensure that the person is happy to participate in the act and does not feel pressure to do so.

• S – Specific to ensure that all participants know exactly what they agree to during the act.

Failing to obtain consent (participating in non-consensual activity) can be a form of sexual assault and result in legal consequences.

Special circumstances regarding sexual consent

• If a participant is under the age of 16

  The minimum legal age for sexual intercourse with a girl in Sri Lanka is 16 years of age. Having sexual intercourse with a girl under the age of 16 years (with or without her consent) is statutory rape, and will have legal consequences. Children under the age of 16 are not thought to be mature enough to give consent to such a significant decision.

• Under the influence of alcohol or drugs

  Persons under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs are unable to give informed consent to any act and therefore, sexual activity with a person under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs is always non-consensual. This includes persons who are unconscious or “passed out” due to alcohol and/or drugs.

• Persons with intellectual disabilities

  Persons with intellectual disabilities have the right to safe consensual sexual relationships, but may not always have the capacity to make an informed decision about all forms of sexual activity. When gaining consent, it should be made on an individual basis depending on the person’s capacity, and discussed using language understandable to the person with the intellectual disability.

• Distribution of intimate images or videos

  Consent is also important in the digital space (including social media platforms). Sharing of intimate images without consent is illegal and considered a form of sexual harassment.

• Stealthing

  Stealthing is a form of sexual assault that occurs when persons consent to sexual activity with a condom (barrier method of contraception), but one partner then does not wear a condom, or removes it without the other person’s knowledge.

Consent is an easy and essential part of healthy sexual relationships, which should be regularly practiced even when in long-term relationships, to ensure that all involved feel safe and have their boundaries respected.